Safe Sex and BDSM

Safe sex is a must, not only from an HIV point of view. Generally speaking, an erotic power exchange scene is not more dangerous than any other form of sex, provided you take sufficient precautions.

Condoms

Always use a condom when penetrating, either vaginal or anal. Using condoms when having oral sex is generally advised (you can buy mint or menthol flavored condoms for this purpose).

This may sound silly, but if you have never bought condoms before, please avoid the vending machines in discotheques, bars, etc. The problem is that you never know how old the condoms are when you buy them. A condom with an expired maximum vending date is unsafe to use, because the latex deteriorates over time.

Do use condoms when penetrating with vibrators, dildos or other toys. When in scene, it is very possible your toys will lay about and attract dust and germs. Using condoms on your toys will keep them in a better condition as well and makes them easier to clean afterwards.

Some women will show allergic reactions to the lubricant that is standard on most condoms. If you are not sure, buy non-lubricated condoms with a separate, water based lubricant.

 

Dental dams

It is a must to use dental dams when rimming (licking the outside anal area) and it is generally advised for oral-vaginal contact. Outside the USA, dental dams are sometimes hard to get. Contact a Center for Information about Sexually Transmitted Diseases for addresses.

 

Latex gloves

Latex gloves will protect yourself and your partner from all sorts of things. When penetrating either the vagina or anus, wear gloves. Especially when you are fisting (including vaginal fisting).

 

Lubricant

Lubricant makes it easier to penetrate, both vaginal and anal. Buy only water based lubricants. Oil based lubricants will ruin your condoms and other latex protective gear in seconds (this goes for your valuable latex clothing as well!!). Be aware of the fact that massage oil, baby oil and butter will have the same effect on latex.

Some lubricants content Nonoxynol 9. Some women have allergic reactions to this. If you want to be on the safe side, buy a lubricant without it. On the other hand, Nonoxynol 9 makes it a lot more difficult for the HIV virus to survive.

 

HIV risks

All the general stuff about HIV infection (direct blood and sperm contact) of course goes for erotic power exchange as well. Take extra precautions when you are whipping and (accidentally) draw blood or when you are into needle play. Nipple clamps sometimes may cause bleeding of the nipples, especially while your sub is having her period. Intense stimulation of the nipples - clamps, binding and piercing(!!) - may incidentally cause the nipple to lactate slightly. Even some men will start to produce small amounts of lactate sometimes! Lactate may very well contain the HIV virus. Extra precautions should, of course, be taken if you are into edge play situations.

 

Other Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's)

Alternative sexual games open new possibilities for STD infection. Most of these are caused by viruses and are easy to catch if you allow them to enter a body opening (sex organ, mouth or small wound). We will give some short descriptions here:

 

Virus infections

Hepatitis
is an inflammation of the liver. There are different forms (A and B are the most common), caused by a virus. Symptoms may vary from relatively harmless flu type reactions to fatal liver diseases.

Herpes
(also around in different forms) causes small fluid filled blisters. It is a virus. The blistering will not be triggered by the disease but by external factors like exposure to the sun, emotional stress or another illness or fever. The blisters may appear on and around the mouth, the genitals or other parts of the body, depending on the type. Herpes is not fatal, but may cause complications with other infections and sometimes can be painful. Herpes simplex, that may cause blisters on the mouth and/or genitals, cannot yet be cured.

Syphilis
in modern society is rare, but still around. It is caused by an organism and causes swellings on the body that will leave a scar after healing. Unrecognized syphilis will eventually ruin the vascular and nervous systems and cause death.

Genital warts
(small swellings in and around the genitals) are caused by a virus. They may cause the development of cervix cancer and should be taken seriously. They need early and repeated treatment.

 

Bacteria

Gonorrhea
has been around for ages and still is. It may cause sterility (men) or inflammation of the Fallopian tube (women). An infected women may pass it on to the eyes of a newborn child when the infection occurs during pregnancy.

Chlamydia and Ureaplasmal infections
are the most common group of STD's. They are likely to cause all sorts of diseases. Treatment and interruption of sexual contacts is advised. This group spreads easily and rapidly. Having dirty hands or fingernails when penetrating or dirty toys are the most common causes.

We have mentioned only the most common STD's here, there are a lot more around. When in doubt, always check with your doctor. You may be embarrassed about it. This is only natural and the doctor will understand this. Remember, it may the first time you are confronted with STD, but the doctor has seen it all before. Not seeing the doctor in almost all cases leads to trouble. Most of the STD's will not go away by themselves and some are nasty and persistent.

 

Some BDSM techniques may be responsible for transmitting STD's

Unprotected toys
are the most common transmitter of bacteria and are likely to cause one of the infections, mentioned above. Even if it has just been laying around for a while it may have picked up bacteria. When you penetrate, always use a condom and do not forget your wonderful penis-shaped whip grip.

Bondage ropes
when used in the genital area, are another transmitter of disease. The general advice is to wash your ropes regularly, disinfect them and reserve marked ropes for these areas. When just hanging on the wall and not being used for some time germs and bacteria may find a nice nest inside your bondage ropes.

Nipple clamps
are another well known toy in this area. Again regularly clean and disinfect them.

Leather
is a living material and germs and bacteria will nest in it, especially if these toys have not been used for some time.

Whipping
One thing you should be aware of is that whipping causes the small veins in the skin to open up and send blood to the whipped area. This creates an expressway for viruses and bacteria to infiltrate the body and not only the STD-related ones. You should be aware of this phenomena, especially when whipping the genital area. Extra attention to hygiene and regular cleaning and disinfecting of whips is required.

 

First aid kit

This entire section may scare you a bit. There is no need for that, but it is always advisable to be aware of possible risks and to take precautions when necessary. This goes for having a first aid kit around as well. Mishaps always occur. Any general first aid kit will do, with two extras: first of all a pair of bandage scissors. These will enable you to quickly and safely cut ropes and even leather straps when you need to. Bandage scissors avoid harming your partner unintentionally. Next to this it is handy to have freeze spray (or cold spray) around for muscle treatment (makes a wonderful toy as well).